Looking back

The other day my husband was stopped on the street by a couple who had recognized him from our picture on our agency's "waiting families" web page. He really should work in television because people never, ever, forget his face. The couple had been doing some research into becoming adoptive parents, and have settled on our agency. They are just barely starting the process. The also happen to live next door! What are the chances in this city of millions? Anyway, we had them over for a chat to tell them about our experience, see if they had questions, etc...

Meeting with this couple really brought me back to when we were first starting this journey, and the emotions that I felt at that time. It was a vulnerable time for me and I haven't really thought much about those feelings since I was a just-starting-out mom. I remember the anxiety about telling people that we were starting the process, and the defensiveness I felt then. I sent out an email that basically outlined how people should and should not respond to us (i.e., don't tell me about Lifetime movies, don't ask if we are scared that the baby's parents will come knocking on our door to demand the child back, etc.) I shared our infertility experiences and our adoption process with very few people at that time. At this point, I look for any opportunity to share our adoption experience! (see above).

In any case, it made me really feel for this couple as well as the person I was back then. It made me want to throw my arms around them and around my former self and say it's all okay, it gets a lot better, and you will have the family you want one day. Instead I offered both of these future parents a glass of wine, our stories, an open invitation to talk to us whenever they wanted to, and a hug when they left.