It's the little things

Since I've last written we had our second visit with little G's birth family, this time at GM's family home. GM and GD were there, as well as GM's sisters (little G's aunts) and GM's parents. It was a lovely visit where we stared a lot at little G, ate delicious food, took some walks, and little A played a lot. I felt that having little A there - who is such a presence - was especially nice because she takes up a lot of our energies and so I felt that GM and GD (and the rest of the family) could chill with little G while we kept little A occupied.

I find myself obsessing over the details of each interaction we have with little G's family. I stress because I am worried about doing things "right", by which I mean I want to honor the feelings and wishes of little G's family. As I've mentioned before, our relationship thus far has felt very comfortable and I have no reason to believe that GM and GD want something different from this relationship. But... since we are just forming this relationship it's hard to really know what every wants from it. We are still very much getting to know each other. Because this relationship is so important to me and to my family, I tend to overanalyze things.

For instance, when little G's family first came to visit us in the city, I was so thrilled that GD rode in the same car with GM and her family. GD, I've been told, isn't the most favorite person of GM's parents. My assumption is that they see him as "the guy who got our daughter pregnant" and so they aren't big fans. In fact, GM and GD had told us that most likely we would need to keep visits separate - some with GD and GM and others with GM and her family. So I took the fact that GD came along not just on the visit, but in the same car, as a really great sign. Same thing with the fact that GD was there for our last visit at GM's house.

Then we made photo albums for GD and GM of little G for Christmas. We had them sent to GM since we don't have GD's address. I let GM know to expect them. When they were delivered, I didn't hear from either of them. And I obsessed. I read into it. My mind started racing with all that could mean. I worried that they didn't like the album, the pictures we chose, maybe it was too much to see, maybe they wanted to make the album themselves with pictures they choose.... You can see how my mind raced.

Then a few weeks later is was Christmas day, I texted, they responded. It was New Year's. GD texted, I responded. And she mentioned that she got the album, loved it, and thought it was adorable. I breathed a sigh of relief.

It's not really fair of me to put so much stress (even if just in my mind) on this budding, and ever-important, relationship. But that's what I do. I hang on every action/inter-action/non-interaction.