So A, Mr. P and I have been out and about a lot lately. We had A's first doctor's appointment on Friday, and last night we had our first night out on the town (we went out to dinner with my parents, sister, and brother-in-law). A has been a champ throughout. She really has just been the easiest baby so far.
We get stopped in the street A LOT with A. People ask how old she is, tell us how beautiful she is, wish us well, etc... (all of which just adds to the weirdness of me being considered a mom by others, btw). On a few of these occasions people have commented on how good I look, after a labor and delivery just a few weeks ago, of course. Why, thank you!!! I'll take a compliment! Indeed, I remember when we first went to the information session held at our agency, one of the adoptive moms that spoke told us a similar story when a woman said this to her in the mall, and she smiled, said thank you and kept walking. Well, in the couple of times that this has happened to me, adoption comes up and I am "outed" for not actually bouncing back from labor and delivery so quickly. :) (what is going to be REALLY funny is when someone points out that I still have a few more pounds of baby weight to go).
So anywho, something has come up in each of these conversations that prompts me to tell these strangers about the adoption. For instance, someone asks me how my delivery was, or like last night, someone said, "Oh, you obviously had an easy labor and delivery." I don't at all mind telling people about the adoption. In fact, I love telling them! I am proud of how our family has been formed! My husband was saying the same thing last night; that he is eager to tell people about the adoption. I'm sure this will wear off at some point, and it would be a whole different story (I think) if A were older and could understand our conversations. Also I believe this will change as A gets older and it will be more obvious because of our respective appearances that she is adopted.
How do others respond in similar situations?
p.s. I think it's time for me to update my sidebar that we are no longer "officially waiting" doncha think?? I'll put that on the TO DO list for tomorrow......
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9 comments:
Good for your for sharing your journey with others. I do love your response of a simple "thank you" when saying how great you look after giving birth! I don't think you should have to explain it to every stranger who walk up to you on the street. Heck, you still look greta considering you aren't getting much sleep with a newborn at home! Good for you and congrats on your baby girl!!
Congrats on your baby girl!!! It sounds like you are settling into motherhood very nicely. (:
I don't have any experience on how to respond to strangers, but think it all depends on the situation/person asking. Share whatever you and your husband are comfortable with.
Congrats again!!
I'm sure you do look great! and happy.
I'm with andrea, I don't think you should have to explain it to everyone if you don't want to at any given time. the truth is you are surviving with a newborn at home and looking good too! you may want to talk about it now, but you might not always.
I've heard people describe how it's the child's story to tell, so as you said this may change as A grows older.
Congrats! That call must have been so exciting! I share my story all the time too - the infertility one. We are in the process of adopting a baby girl from South Korea and just by appearances it will be obvious that she is adopted. I am sure I will get a lot of questions!
If it's someone in our circles somehow (e.g. someone at church), I'd usually say, "Thanks! It was an adoption." If it was just a random stranger I'd say the same or simply, "Thanks!" I sort of feel it's one of those throw-away comments, like when a stranger asks, "How are you doing?" and you're supposed to say, "Fine, thanks."
Thanks for stopping by my blog!
Sometimes I just wish people would have the sense to say something nice and leave the questions in their brains.
Enjoy your new baby!
Thanks for all the advice, ladies! + luna - Yes, I do think this will change as I get older, and I will take cues from A.
+ heather - That's a good way to look at it - as a kind of throw away comment.
Sounds like you're loving it!
I think what you are doing and how you are handling it are amazing. And it sounds like you are and will continue to be great parents.
ICLW
i think i felt the way you did at first, too- psyched to talk about how our family was formed because i was so proud and it felt so natural to do so..
that opened me up to sometimes hearing comments that weren't what i was up for. now, although i don't think there's much that would bother me, i volunteer it less immediately b/c i don't always feel like talking to strangers about the topic (esp because i have so many opinions now!:) i just don't always have the time to educate.
also, how he came into our family is just less of an issue in the present moment. same with women who deliver a baby, yknow?
anyway, congratulations!!! your baby girl is beautiful!!
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