Several people came whom I hadn't seen in years, and it was emotional for me. However, I refrained from crying the entire day - quite a feat for me!! I did tear up just a bit when my sister showed me that she had put together a CD of music and made copies for everyone, all with a pic of A on the cover. It's full of songs about fathers, mothers, daughters, sons. So beautiful. I was really blown away by that.
I had been telling my family and friends for months (even before A's arrival) that I refuse to do the whole opening of presents in front of everyone. I really do not enjoy it. I don't enjoy opening the presents and I don't enjoy being a guest at a shower where I need to sit and watch someone else open the presents and then "ooohhh" and "aaahhh" after each one. I lived in Guatemala for a time, and the custom where I lived was to take the wrapped gift, say thank you, and then hide it away to be opened long after all guests have gone. Loved it. So anyway, despite my being very clear about this one request for our shower, it was DENIED. But as it turns out, I was pretty slick and have a big 'ole serving of banana pudding in my hands at the time and Mr. P was forced to open each and every one!! Also, we were lucky that most people had the gifts shipped directly to us (we registered at an online-only store), so there weren't so many gifts to be opened.
Even if I was a sour-puss about the opening of gifts, I have been so blown away by every one's generosity!! Since we got so many necessities in those few days before A came home, our registry focuses on really fun stuff like books and toys. We got lots of Todd Parr books. LOVE them. And several adoption-themed picture books, which I can't wait to read to A. (Well, I'm reading them to her already, but it will be especially nice once she can understand them).
The shower was also a time for people to ask more about how A came to be our daughter, including questions about her first family. Everyone was extremely respectful, and I didn't expect anything less from my friends. While there are certain pieces of A and K's story (K = what I call A's first mom on this blog) that I won't share with others, there are plenty of things that I will share, and take much pleasure in sharing! I enjoy letting others know about the process of open adoption, since most people don't know a lot about it.
The shower was perfect. Perfect day, full of friends and good food. Perfect!! Despite all this, I have to admit that there in the very far reaches of my mind, I had little nagging thoughts of an adoptive mom: "will people think that I'm not bonded to A because I'm not holding her the entire time?", "do people think it's weird that I'm letting everyone hold her all day while I socialize?" I know, I'm crazy.
7 comments:
sounds like such a wonderful celebration and day! how sweet of your sister auntie to make those cds. I hope someone took lots of pix. would love to know which books you got as gifts too!
The CD sounds really great! Enjoy YOUR family! :)
You handled the gift opening well. It sounds like it was a wonderful day and a great way to welcome A into your family.
ICLW
Congratulations on your family. Visiting from ILCW and btw you are so not crazy!
Your shower sounds like it was wonderful. The cd must be amazing, what a great idea. Congrats!
ICLW
Thanks for your ICLW comment...
When I was in Japan last week, I learned that it's mandatory to give gifts at specific times but that the gift isn't opened until later. Perhaps because of this, there's a lot of emphasis on the wrapping. The recommendation I got is to have the gift professionally wrapped!
What a wonderful day and how generous of you to share your daugher with the crowd.
I'm with you on the opening of presents although I didn't smarten up until the girls were here and had lived through the torture of Bear's first birthday party. Now, we make a blanket "Thank you for all the nice gifts" at the end and open them later. (It's easier to keep track of who gave what too!!)
ILCW
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