This past week, Luna wrote a great post in anticipation of a homestudy visit (which is happening as I write this!). The post brought up memories for those of us who have gone through the process as well as shed light on the process for those who hadn't realized some of its intricacies.
I thought I would share my experience with our homestudy process, since I seem to have had a different experience than those that I've read about. Let me just start by saying that in no way am I trying to contradict or diminish others' experiences. But at the same time, I'd like to add our experience to the mix to share with those out there that are curious about homestudies.
I loved our homestudy process. I loved the opportunity to explore questions of child rearing, values, our upbringing, open adoption, infertility, grieving and loss along with my husband and with the support of the agency. I believe we became a stronger couple because of it. Some of these were questions that I never expected to be contemplating, much less articulating on paper, or to a stranger. But there was rarely a point in the process where I thought, "I don't see how this is relevant to our future as parents." I also loved that they gave us readings (three books and several articles) that were relevant to open adoption. I do think that all people could benefit from going through a similar process before becoming parents - not just adoptive parents - and I just consider myself lucky that I was able to go through it in a supportive way.
I fear that this is turning into a "adoption is a lovely bed of roses - why don't you try it?" post. This is NOT my intention at all. Adoption is an intense process - in both difficult and wonderful ways. I guess I realize more and more just how much I *heart* our agency. (and there are many other reasons why we love them; the homestudy is just one.) I've mentioned that we never "shopped around" for agencies. This was the only one we ever visited or received information from. So apparently we got super lucky (and my gut reaction pretty much rocks.) I especially *heart* our social worker, to whom I give the credit for making the process never feel invasive.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
glad you had such a positive home study experience.
in my own experience, we had plenty of time to explore those issues as a couple before undertaking the homestudy, and we did not want to use the home study as any kind of therapy session. we approached the written questions very openly. after reading about the interviews of others, I became concerned that the questions could cross a line. thankfully they did not, and we loved our case worker and had a great discussion about our situation. I still can't believe some of the questions other people get asked though...
Post a Comment